God

Bender: So, do you know what I’m gonna do before I do it?

«God»: Yes.

Bender: What if I do something different?

«God»: Then I don’t know that.

Bender: Cool! Cool! I bet a lot of people pray to you, huh?

«God»: Yes. But there are so many asking so much. After a while, you just sorta tune it out.

Bender: Y’know, I was God once.

«God»: Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died.

Bender: It was awful. I tried helping them, I tried not helping them but in the end I couldn’t do them any good. Do you think what I did was wrong?

«God»: Right and wrong are just words. What matters is what you do.

Bender: Yeah I know, that’s why I asked if what I did– Forget it.

«God»: Bender, being God isn’t easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you. And if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch like a safecracker or a pickpocket.

Bender: Or a guy who burns down the bar for the insurance money.

«God»: Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. **When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.**

from the neutral planet Futurama 4th Season Transcript.

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